Yo Yo Yo Yo {in honor of Ames}

Today, February 1st, is my friend Ames' 30th birthday! 

Sadly, I will not be celebrating it with her in person, and her birthday package is delayed [for I have yet to make it to the Post Office--sorry!] so I would like to publicly wish her a happy 30th for all to see!

We've been best friends since 2005 and I love her dearly. She's the only person for whom I would sport the razorback...and call the hogs {woo pig sooie!}.

Homes {aka Ames} has always been supportive in life decisions I've made. She looks at things from every angle (something I'm not so good at) and for that I greatly appreciate her. We've rocked out to Ashlee Simpson together while painting walls well into the wee hours of the morning. We've enjoyed late night greasy dinners at CK's Coffee Shop in Memphis after visits to see boys who in the end weren't worth it. We've laughed and we've cried. We've argued and we've rejoiced. Tennis, homemade pizzas, carrying our Swords, TCBY, Starbucks Mocha (grande in a Venti cup), daily emails, Stanton singing, El Mez, late night phone calls, being in one accord, the knock, Lectureships, riding together to FH, we've done it all. I miss her more than I'd like, just because we don't get to see each other often at all. One day, when I get done with all this college business and have a real job, we'll plan a fun trip somewhere. A beach, warm waters, and lots of sunbathing involved I hope. But for now we'll have to be content with sporadic meetings in Memphis, cramming in as much shopping and eating at old haunts, as we can.

I miss you homes, love you on top of that, and wish that this 30th birthday is the best one yet!

YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO O YOY O YO YO YO YO YO YO OY OY O YOY OY OY YO YO YO YO YO YO YO YO OY YO YO YO YO YO YO [that's as good as it gets]

did you know...

• that listening to coldplay's live version of 'Clocks' inspires me to be more than I could be?
• I'm thinking about making my blog address a domain name...meaning it would be a website minus the .blogspot? I'm open for suggestions...
• On that same note, I will be revamping my blog real soon. This means {most likely} a new layout, design, buttons, etc. I don't know if you can handle it. I don't know if I can handle it.
• I'm working on my annual Valentine's packages this weekend?
• I'm not who I used to be?
• I have a follower from Brasil {I took Brazilian Portuguese for 2 years....obrigada!}
• I talked to Mattie Poo today and our conversation created a diversion that saved a woman from losing her job?
• I realized today that maybe I'm such a big advocate for the United States Postal Service because my grandfather, Donald Ammons, was a postal carrier after his return from the war? I think that it honors his memory a little bit.
• I miss baby Kirby already?
• my hair is naturally wavy?
• I feel rather inspired lately? I apologize if it's interpreted as me riding a hobby-horse and feels redundant.
• I'm in current search of a muse? I'm taking applications...
• I received a really cute homemade bookmark in the mail this week that read 'the best way to predict your future is to create it!'? I hope that sender realizes this is something that speaks great volumes to me at this point in my years.

Funny for Friday: Todd, my campus minister breaking Leslee's {his pretty wife} leg with his big bum. To the average reader, it may not seem real funny, but if you know Todd and this moment at GulfCoast Getaway, it is. I really appreciate Leslee's facial expression.

maybe in the twilight we could break out...[needtobreathe]

I've been sitting in the Commons of Hodges Library on campus, pouring [or is it poring] over old posts, trying to feel inspired and come up with a good blog post.

It's almost time to depart, so I'll leave you with these thoughts:

• Sam Smith is a nice boy. He just brought me a Starbucks in the Commons. He's also going to go with me to Donald Miller's 'Story Line' Conference in June in Portland, Oregon. That's my declaration of taking a risk. Flying and going somewhere new with someone I have never traveled with before. Amelia, you need Sam's contact info so you can warn him of the massive bruising he will have on his leg as a result of being my plane friend.
• I really, really, really like my classes this semester. I'm in 2 writing courses and 2 film courses. Wow, they're hardcore [parkour], but it feels good to be challenged, and about things I like at that. It's going to be a little scary to put myself out there, my writings in front of people face-to-face, but how am I supposed to become the female version of Donald Miller unless my writings are exposed to constructive criticism? Even though I'm only 2 weeks into it, I've enjoyed expanding my views on what good writing is, and what constitutes fiction/nonfiction/etc. Watch your back Miller.
• This time last week I was on my way to Nashville with Lacey Jean. Our trip in the darkened snow-covered interstate roads of East Tennessee proved to be more than exciting. At one point, I was white-knuckling the steering wheel, hunched down, looking at the road for black ice and Lacey was wide-eyed in the seat next to me, and we said a prayer to sweet Lord baby Jesus to keep us safe. We made it to Nashville in one-piece, but I stayed overnight, slipping on black ice in the Kroger parking lot, on a trek for pizza, drinks, and chocolate. It made for an enjoyable evening I won't soon forget.
• I haven't fallen down lately. I did fall down the first Thursday I started school, before I ever made it to the beach. It was on the back steps at the CSC, but luckily it was my bum that hit pavement, not my face. I made plans to hang with Dr. Tristan McPherson this weekend, so he may rub off on me yet again and I'll have a good story about the pull of gravity for my next blog. 
• I went to counseling today. That's a newsflash for some of you, but not all of you. It's been good. I've enjoyed my sessions, my feelings have felt validated, I've become more self-aware, and realized I've been strong and known what I needed all along. I just needed someone apart from my daily life to guide me a little bit. So today's session was me feeling good about myself and my future and where I am. In fact, I don't have plans to go back for 3 weeks, and only then, to make sure I'm still on track. It feels good to take a hold of my situation and feel confident in my choices. 

I hope you have a good weekend. I hope to have a good blog for this weekend, stay tuned.

 

An Open Letter to Twitter using a Michael Scott quote [the office is funny]

Dear Twitter,

Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.

Love,
Me

Baby Arm [or what Bridget always has...]

What can I say? 

I'm in love.

and if I can't be, all that I could be, will you wait for me? [alexi murdoch]

God's been waiting on me for a few years now.

And finally, in 2011, I feel His calmness and peace in my spirit. It's moving through me and I'm not sure when it happened or what spurned it, but it's there, and for that I'm ever grateful. It reassures me that my life is on the right path, my decisions are based on His word and not my own selfish desires. I'm working on ridding fears and emptying doubt, fortifying my heart.

For the past 3 or 4 years, my faith has suffered from uncertainty and a new perspective on that of which my personal beliefs consist. But no longer.

My views aren't black and white.

My love isn't limited to those who do the right thing.

My faith has become emotion-based, not action-based.

My words have become less harsh.

My mouth is speaking His Name.

My mind is open. Judgments are limited and few.

My heart feels full and encouraged.

My beliefs have been broadened.

My desire to serve Him is based on love, not fear.

 My spirit desires to help others, form relationships, make a difference.

My religion isn't about feeling safe and reassured.

I've been stagnant for far too long. 

I can't resist change if I really want to put on Christ.

God is working on my heart, telling me there's something bigger out there of which I want to be a part. A purpose that is His, a will mightier than my own. I can feel Him. He's real. And He is good.

I'm not scared to be open about my love for Him anymore. I'm not scared of what others might think. I'm not afraid of the persecution which might come from those who mean well.

My religion isn't about condemning and limiting. It's about rising up and serving, making the most of what God has given us, seeking out those who are still in the dark.

I've come a long way since my move to Knoxville. This change was put into motion months before I ever left Memphis, but my soul wasn't ready. My heart wasn't willing. My mind wasn't prepared.

My heart breaks for things I know will change: friends, comfort zones, labels, opinions of me. But I can't live the rest of this life God has given me afraid of what might be, what others might say.

I WILL NOT spend my years feeling empty and censored. 

Putting God in to a box that is man-made and more for our own glory, than His.

I'd rather be shunned by man than God.

I have work to do for the Lord, and I'm not going to continue letting my personal fears get in the way of that. He is love, therefore I will be love. I pray my heart will continue to be pricked, and strengthened through His word. I pray that on nights when I feel like I'm fighting this battle alone, I'll remember this moment, this blessed assurance that He makes all things work together for my good.

You may not agree with me. 

You may think this was a long-time comin'.

You may have no idea what this post even means.

If we've talked about GOD at all in the past 4 years,
you probably know what I'm feeling. 

You probably know this isn't easy to write.

You may understand exactly how strong God has made me in this moment.

Your heart may swell because you know how
much my own heart has hurt over this.

You have been a part of why I'm at this point today.

Your words, encouragement, love, forgiveness and kindness, willingness to learn and be open, it's gotten me to January 2011. To a decision in my life that finally feels right and complete. 

It's a scary feeling at first. Realizing Jesus is bigger than you ever give Him credit for. Realizing He is the reason for my salvation, not my own works. He is the only reason I'm able to overcome sin and temptation. He is the One who is responsible for good works and love that flows out of me.
He is everything. I am nothing.

And it's not about telling these people they're right, and those people they're not good enough. It's not about patting myself on the back for going to church 3 times a week, but not doing anything about the social injustices that happen every day. It's not about how good I am. It's not about my skirt hitting my knee and not an inch above. It's not about marking God's commandments off a check list. It's not about keeping up appearances and making my life perfect. It's not about praise teams and kids church. It's not about a name on a building. It's not about boasting our own good works, thinking that means a lot. It's not about how many people we've dunked or how many tracts we've given out.

That's not religion at all.

It's all about Him.

It's all about His love.

It's all about His example.

It's all about living my life so others see His kindness.

It's all about realizing He's the reason I want to obey.

It's about ignoring all my selfish desires to live like Him.

It's about lifting His name up.

It's about reaching out to others.

Living this way will bring good works.

Living this way will make people commit their life to Christ.

Living this way will do nothing but good.

Living this way opens doors for those who are lost.

All I ask is that you pray. Whatever your view on this is, pray that God's will happens. Pray that we all continue striving to live for His glory. I pray that if you don't agree with me, we can still show love and kindness to each other. It's not about putting the other one down, it's just about doing what is right.

So I'll STAND, 

with arms high and heart abandoned, 

in awe of the One who gave it all. 

I'll stand, my soul, Lord, to you surrender, 

all I am is Yours.

What could I say? What could I do? But offer, this heart, completely to You.

where the streets are made of gold

One year ago today, one of my most favorite people in the world should have been celebrating her birthday, but instead was in the hospital in what would turn out to be the last week of her long, God-fearing life.

Mrs. Nita Edwards was a woman who was dear to my heart. She was kind, generous, and her heart never stopped loving God and others.

I sent her a card last year, and I wrote of all my love towards her and reminded her not to steal the glory of my half birthday. I knew she would get a kick out of that. But she never got to read it. It came after she had already become sedated.

One of my favorite pictures is with her. She was enjoying Bridget's wedding reception, when she saw me walking around in flip-flops [she always pointed out when I wore flip-flops in the winter, etc]. She started laughing, because I was wearing my Maid of Honor dress with flashy sequined flip-flops. She made me come over to the table and hoisted my foot into the air and held it for a picture. She's sitting there smiling holding my flip-flopped foot while I'm in the back with my arms outstretched just trying to gain my balance. And her grin is infectious. These are the moments about my life she made me love.

One of the toughest things about living in Knoxville is being far from those I care about the most. My family members, my friends, my little old ladies from church. I'm not there to hug them one more time. I don't always get to see them when I visit. I can't be there when hard times occur.

Tonight, I decided to drag out my big box of cards that I keep. All the cards I've received within the past 10 years, I stow them away and pull out on nights when I feel like reminiscing.  It's a good reminder of how loved you are when you're feeling rather lonely, or just sentimental.

I've found a few that she sent me over the years. In each of them, I opened it up to find a handwritten note inside, which was Mrs. Nita's character. Her words made me laugh through my weeping.

I've been crying for the past 5 minutes wishing I could have seen her one more time. I know she's in heaven and reunited with her husband and loved ones. But I sure do miss her and her sweet smile.

She was always good for a laugh! Enjoy her young heart through some of her words below:

July 18, 2004

Dear Stephanie,

I am sooooo sorry that I am late with my Birthday wishes to you. Will you forgive me?? Please? I'll try to do better next year. But don't hold me to it as I'll be 88 in January and my mind will be even worse than it is now. Just remember I love you-oh well, I'm off like the wind! Happy Belated!

July 18, 2008

Steph, 

I miss you already and you "ain't" even gone. I'm so happy that your dream is coming true, your dream of going to U.T. Knoxville is finally here! Study hard and be happy, have some fun too (good clean fun!). You'll be in my thoughts and prayers and don't forget little ole 91 year old me.

I love you!

Nita

2008 Christmas

I sent you a card to your Knoxville address so, I'm giving you another here, hand delivered, 'cause you are special. Hope Santa Claus is good to you, even though you've been BAD! ha! I'm just kidding!!! I love you.

Nita

July 18, 2009
Dear Stephanie,

I have been missing you at church the last few Sundays. Then I heard you were in Knoxville, and then I heard you were in Georgia. You do get around. [this one made me giggle, for it sounded like she was calling me a hussy]

Hope you have been enjoying your summer vacation. It won't be long before you'll be back at U.T. ready to dig into the books again.

You are a sweet young Christian lady and a joy to be with. Happy Birthday! I love you!

p.s. This is the ugulist ugliest $10 bill I've ever seen but its the only one I had. It will spend if it is ugly! I hope!!

When I go home this weekend I'll make sure to hold on a little tighter when I hug my loved ones. Pray for her family and friends today as they remember her delightful spirit. She lived a good 93 years upon this earth, serving God until the day she died. I hope I have a life like that one day.

Happy MLK Day, ya'll!

White Man - Michael Gungor Band from Brandon Goodwin on Vimeo.

one month to Valentine's: let the countdown begin!

Today is a month to Love Day, only my favorite day of the year. 

I saw this mini heart wreath at Target last week. I'm not going to lie, I got distracted by the end-of-the-aisle display of all things Valentine. I held this adorable piece of decor in my hand for a good 5 minutes, debating on whether to buy it or not. I decided against it for money's sake. I told my cousin Rachel and her friend Jodi about my obsession with Valentine's and she came in last night to Gran's with a Valentine's present for me. Surprise, it was totally this sweet wreath. Thanks JODI! :) I love surprises and Valentine's things so it's a win-win. I hung it on my door last night to kick off Valentine's season (yes, it's a season for me, we need to something to start celebrating in January).

I've already got my Valentine's Mix 2011 made.
If you're lucky, I'll be sending you a copy!  

Today we leave for Florida for GCG! I can't wait to be spiritually renewed, see old friends, and just spend 3 days relishing people, God, and the beach. This is my 3rd trip. First trip, I ran over an already-hit dog/or deer. Last year, a bob-cat hit our car. I'm looking forward to seeing what kind of wildlife we endanger this year. 

Did you know Florida was the only state this week to not have any snow?
Bliss to my ears.

This first week of class has been busy, exhausting, but I think it's going to be really good. I have 4 writing intensive classes, 2 of those being film classes, and 2 being writing classes. Thanks to UT I am not in any psych classes, despite my efforts, so this probably means summer school. Can't stress about it, either way I'll be done soon. And it seems that even with these 4 classes, I'm going to be ultra-busy with reading, writing, and watching movies. Not too shabby. Plus, somehow I've worked it out to only have classes Tuesday-Thursday. That means LONG WEEKENDS! All the better to travel with. Or sleep in. Or work.  The possibilities are endless.

Bringin' back the 'Funny for Friday' because I started it last year on GCG Friday.

The joy of this picture below is a combination of Sony Vaio's webcam extras and Papaw's lack of awareness of technology. 

What I'm Thinking About Today {in pictures}

1. Baby Kirby
2. Texas
3. Cousin Hannah and sunny, warm Spring evenings
4. Sushi
5. Graduating...again.
6. The beach, where I'll be basking in the warmth all weekend long.
7. Memphis
8. Wedding Cake SnoCone Supreme from Jerry's SnoCones (and maybe Mattie Poo)
9. Flying....yuck.

Kirby Thomas Garner 1-10-11

 

Hi baby Kirby! Welcome to the big world. You're mighty cute. I'm sorry I couldn't be there when you were born today. Snow, school, you'll know what I'm talking about when you get bigger. But when I saw your crying little face tonight for the first time via pictures my heart leapt in joy knowing you were here, safe and sound. You are beautiful, perfect, and the most handsomest baby I've ever seen.

I promise I'll be the best Auntie Stephie I can be. I'll take you to theme parks and buy you ice cream even when you've already had your dessert. I'll let you sit in my lap and drive at a young age, even if mom says not to. I'll give you big hugs and kisses, but I'll also tickle you til you pee your pants. Come on, it's funny!

I shed tears when I first saw your face. I can't wait to hold you and love you and kiss your sweet little face. You better not be tired of it by the time I come visit in 2 weeks. Your  mom looks smitten with you. I know I will be too. Love you little guy :)



I know we can make it, if we take it slow...[the killers]

We've had quite a few snow days so far in Knoxville this winter. 

Today can be added to that list. It's frigid, white, and gorgeous outside. I've been complaining about snow lately, but after seeing all my friends across the South share their excitement via Fbook and Twitter about their rare snow day, it reminded me of how these white days really are precious.

Thanks to a impromptu 3 hour nap late yesterday afternoon my couch, I was awake at 2:30am when the flakes started falling in Knox. I sat on my bed in the dark, watching out my window as the flakes quickly accumulated into one big white sheet over cars, grass, sidewalks, poles. There's something about watching snow quietly fall in the middle of the night that brings back it's magic and mystery. It's untouched. No footprints, no mounds of snow left abandoned after being scraped off cars, no noise: just snow, pure and sparkling. It was beautiful. I felt like a kid getting excited about a snow day from school. The truth is I'm an adult with no plans to be canceled. But for a minute, I forgot all that.

Looking at all the darkened, blind-covered windows of my neighbors, I felt like I was the only one awake in Knoxville to enjoy the quickly-changing landscape. It was my own private snow shower. 3am came and I forced myself to go to bed, reminding myself that I've seen snow before. I only raised up and looked out the window one time after that, for a last glimpse of the scene below, knowing when I saw it again it would bear the markings of dogs, tire tracks, and kids with snow boots. 

Last night, Mrs. Garner's water broke. Dave drove through the snow in Memphis to get her to the hospital. As of 2:20 EST, baby Kirby hasn't arrived, but the Doctor said he'd definitely come today. January 10th is the day I will become an auntie. And I'm stuck in Knoxville due to snow and the impending threat of school starting on Wednesday. I won't be able to make it to Memphis until the weekend of the 22nd. Hopefully he won't grow up in just 2 weeks :)

So far, today has held stove-heated hot cocoa and English muffins, lots of snow watching, a couple of New Year's resolutions finally being made, and discovering the joy of free concerts from NPR's 'All Songs Considered' and 'Tiny Desk Concerts' via podcasts on iTunes. I think my body releases endorphins when I find free live music, and not when I exercise. I never feel this good after working out. So far I've downloaded concerts from Nickel Creek, The Swell Season, Punch Brothers, Fleet Foxes, Passion Pit, The Black Keys, Local Natives, The Raconteurs, Iron and Wine, Broken Bells, The Avett Brothers (for other people), Phoenix, and Abigail Washburn. Ta. Da. This is exciting business. Who needs a boyfriend when you have music?

I'm off to read my latest Whole Living magazine and make a grocery list for next week. I hope everyone enjoys their snow day, or just plain Monday for those who didn't wake up to a white, snowy scene. Pray for baby Kirby's first days on earth and for an Auburn win tonight  (we're PRO-SEC) at the BCS National Title Game. I don't have ESPN, and was planning on going to Tristan's to watch it...but there's hills and ice involved in that route. However, not watching the game isn't an option right now. Maybe the trip over will make for a good blog post. Wish me luck!

Also, I talked to this guy yesterday...he was kind of adorable, as you can tell from his sweet picture.

I gotta run, run to the city of refuge, I gotta run [abigail washburn]

I've fallen down a lot lately.

A week ago, I fell down in mud in the dark. 2 days ago, I fell down on black ice in the daylight. I hope this weekend, I fall down on sand in Panama City, Florida.

Saturday, Dr. Tristan McPherson asked me to go with him to WDVX's Blue Plate Special to hear Abigail Washburn & the Band. I had woken up to snow that morning, but I obliged. I rarely turn down a free concert. We slip and slid on the sidewalks in Downtown Knox, but standing there for an hour, crammed in the visitor's center with other brave souls, listening to Abigail's melodious voice waft into our ears, made it worthwhile.

I told Tristan walking over there that I tend to fall down rather easily. I was taking baby steps and he didn't seem to be slowing down. Maybe he thought I was joking...despite the fact that the last time I fell was at his apartment complex. On the way back, the wind was so fierce and bitter, and snow pelted our faces like little daggers of ice. By the time we were almost back to the Market Square parking garage, I had become more confident in my footing. I had decided to walk right down the middle of the street because it seemed the least treacherous. Tristan was doing that whole walking in front of me thing again [I blame it on him rushing to warm places due to not wearing a heavy jacket...silly boy].

Then it happened. As I fell down in the middle of the street my only response was to yell 'THERE IT IS!' I guess I was intent on proving my ease of being pulled down by gravity. It was my 'told you so.' Tristan turned and I was flat on the street. As I tried to get up I couldn't get any traction and kept sliding. It was pretty humorous...me laying in the middle of the street, trying to quickly get up in case of cars behind me, only to find myself the object of bystanders' staring as my legs slid continuously. Tristan helped me and allowed me to clutch onto him until we were safe inside the garage. I was breathless from laughing and all that exercise. I told a couple of old ladies coming out to watch out for the ice [they had seen me fall down] and one of them quickly grabbed onto the chain link fence as she made her way down the street.

So there's my recent falling down story. Like I said, I hope this weekend (if the theme continues) I at least fall down on the sand in sunny, warm Panama City. The weather channel is predicting that it will be at least 60 degrees Saturday and Sunday. My bones are ready, they need a good thaw out. Enjoy the video of Abigail Washburn below, her style is indie/folk/bluegrass/chinese/international/etc. Yep, hard to classify, but easy on the ears. She's real cute too.

Top 10 of 2010: look at me, oh look at me, is this the way I'll always be? [passion pit]

Was there ever any wonder as to what my top moment of 2010 would be?

#1 Moving out on my own for the first time

The first time I'm the sole party responsible for bills, rent, decorating, cleanliness, etc.

At the beginning of 2010, I had no plans to live by myself.
At the end of 2010, I think it was the best decision I made all year.

There's some sort of unspoken confidence that comes from living by yourself. You become more independent, more self-assured. I've spent 5 months here, and every night when I lay my head down I feel at home. I have since day 1.

Money, furniture, necessities...it all came together at the end of the day. Now I'm sitting here, in the quiet darkness, relishing this moment. I love this apartment. Lacey always says I have a way of making things homey, I think it's because I like earth tones. But I've done my best to make my apartment the best it could be on the budget that I never look at. Hand me downs and garage sale finds have made my safe haven ever-inviting. I've loved having a place where I can entertain people, no strings attached. A place where people slide cards under my door. A place where friends stop by unannounced and where they know they can always retreat to, sitting on my tan couch under the pink quilt.

I loved having J-Phil as my first house-guest in August. I like knowing so many have stopped by to talk late into the night, and I have hope that one day Amelia, J. Crowe, and Bridget will be able to make it back this way for a girls' weekend.

Alot of moments, alot of happiness.

How's that for a productive 2010?

Top 10 of 2010: we gonna come together, we gonna celebrate, we gonna gather round, like it's your birthday [kings of leon]

Moment #2 of 2010: The birthday weekend that was...

All you have to do is search the birthday label and you'll find all the posts leading up to my 28th birthday this past summer. In one of them, just 4 days before my birthday, I wrote the following:

Ok, big question. What plans do I have for my birthday weekend? Well, I originally had hoped to spend some time at the Crowe's house in Bama like last year...a dinner at the Cheesecake Factory and coffee at O'Henry's. Then finances fell apart and school is just too crazy and the Honda still needs new tires. So...I'm spending my first birthday in Knoxville. Friday night is plans with the fam (I asked my Gran to make my favorite salad and invited the rest of the family over, so I hope she doesn't mind me planning my own birthday celebration). Saturday is dinner with a few friends, nothing big or fancy. I don't expect much, I'm realizing that gettin' older isn't quite the same as my younger years (in fact, nothing recently has compared to my 8 celebrations of age 25 [even though my celebration of 26 was close]...Amelia, it's all downhill from there-but I didn't tell you that [your mom told me not to!]). Sunday is lunch at the Swicegoods and studying. I coordinated that lunch too. Is it a bad sign that I'm the one planning all my birthday celebrations? Hmmm. As much as I promote my bday (shameless I know), I don't really feel like it's my bday. In fact, I kinda miss my family at home and sorta wish I could spend it there. Ok, tears....moving on.

At that point, I had no idea just 2 nights later I would be hanging out with 3 of my best friends, who just so happen to be stellar at surprises. I had originally started a 5-chapter series to chronicle the events of that birthday weekend. I got to 3 chapters and then slacked off. Maybe I'll finish the last 2 in honor of my half-birthday this month. You should really read them yourself to experience the amazingness of my friends and how my boring birthday turned into one of the best ever. Click on the links below to be treated to a magical story...plus, if you haven't read them, you're going to need to catch up before January 18th, when I finish it.

My Original Birthday List 

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Top 10 of 2010: all for love, we become, larger than lifesize, wondersome [a fine frenzy]

Moment #3 of 2010: Week in Franklin

I recently re-posted my other blog about my amazing week in Franklin with J. Crowe & Amelia.

It still makes #3 on my top 10. I decided to go with a shorter post to represent all the fun in the sun we had that week. It was everything summer and sun! [I'm with you Amelia, I'm ready for summer's return...]

Also, the weekend before I headed to Franklin for that trip, I found out I was going to be an Auntie Stephie, so that adds into the awesomeness known as 'Franklin week.'

Maybe we can convince the Dees to go out of town again this year, and live it up in that infinity pool one more time.

6.21.2010

Summertime is Official!

Happy first day of summer solstice! I've celebrated by lounging at the pool all afternoon, laying in a king-sized bed watching 90210, and I just noticed that there are fireflies dancing ALL OVER the back lawn towards the woods...so I'll give you two guesses as to what I'm doing next (and the first one doesn't count).

Hannah did text me today and said we have to start marking things off our summer list...so one down!

Watch fireflies dance.

I'm fixin to go lay out by the pool and do that, but wanted to give you a glimpse to the high life I'm livin' this week...and my new best friend.




The Infinity pool...with the drop off in the back. Sigh...I'm going to do nothing but smell like Hawaiian Tropic this week. Cheers!

Top 10 of 2010: I think you'd agree, that if we'd met later, I'd never have seen this life [la rocca]

Moment 4 of 2010: Sam, Jack Johnson, Matis, and friends.

For pictures and the original post click here.

On August 20th, I traveled to ATL to meet up with my best friends Amelia, J. Crowe, & Bridget and their hubbies. I didn't mind being the 7th wheel because that night was amazing.

The night before my new-found friend Sam and I had spent the evening talking about life, drinking coffee, and searching frantically for my lost Jack Johnson ticket. The fact that we had known each other for approximately a month, and yet found ourselves sitting on the floor of my bedroom, rummaging through boxes and storage totes at 11pm, showed what good friends we were bound to be. Sam helped me find my JJ ticket in the last possible box, under the last possible piece of paper, at the last possible moment. Sam was a lifesaver. He seems to have a big heart like that. I owe him.

The next night was Jack and friends, in the rain and mud. We waded through small rivers in the parking lot, some of which I'm certain had alcohol-induced pee streaming through them. And there I was barefoot, with flipflops in hand, trudging through it. I shiver now just thinking of the possibilities of what touched my skin.

We sat, soaked to the bone, beneath lightning storms and raindrops that hit our skin hard, listening to Jack Johnson croon his heartfelt lyrics up to the cloudy skies. It was memorable, to say the least.

We spent the midnight hour eating McDonald's and talking after hot showers. It's the stuff dreams are made of. Friends, easy conversation, and laughing, lots of it.

Saturday I drove back to Knox and arrived just in time to hop in the shower, head to campus, and stand underneath another downpour to watch Mastisyahu rap about the Old Testament and positivity. I stood on the second row, jumping and singing and jamming out with Melvin and Sara Jackson. It was probably one of the best concerts I'd ever been to, and it was free!

That weekend, those people, and those live shows are things that will keep my heart warm on cold days.

Top 10 of 2010: And if this is ever meant to end, then I hope it ends where it began [dashboard confessional]

Moment #5:  MLK weekend 2010/GCG

That weekend was incredible.
Highlights:

• I rode 8 hours with 3 boys to and fro. They did pretty good putting up with me.
• I asked Cory Fandrich if I was bossy. He said no. I said would you tell me if I was. He said, probably not. Now we're President and Vice President of the CSC. I get to boss him around all day long :)
• I convinced said boys to drive out of their way to meet up with Amelia and Bridget. An impromptu, last-minute date in Po-dunk Georgia (or was it Alabama) at Chick-Fil-A. Awesome!
• Lacey Jean and I bonded over a troubled common thread. We're now best friends. I still think back to that moment when she pulled me aside at some cliche coastal seafood restaurant and wonder if we'd be BFF now, if not for that moment. 
• I was refreshed and revitalized. It's exciting to know 2 weeks from today, I will be in that same place, hopefully feeling that same warmth and healing in my heart.
• That Saturday night before our session, I was crowded around a TV watching Jersey Shore with the group and we saw the infamous 'ONE SHOT SON!' moment. The rest of the evening, Matt Kelley and I were jumping sideways down streets, overpasses, and beaches screaming 'One shot son! One shot!' A movement was born.
• I saw my first bobcat, as it hit the side of the car we were driving.

1.19.2010

I belong to Jesus, I belong to Him.....WOOO!

I had the most invigorating, reviving, strengthening
weekend getaway in Panama City.
I went last year, but was in a little bit of a funky depressed state
and didn't appreciate all that was around me.
I didn't let that happen this year.

I sang.
I cried.
I prayed.
I felt.
I heard.
I believed.
I was convicted.
I was refreshed.

I had been sinking but now I feel free of Satan's overwhelming pull.

I've been too comfortable in such an immoral world.
I was reminded that if we truly live as Christians,
we won't feel at home in the world.

My fire inside was relit.
I'm ready to be a shining light to those around me.
I want to be different and set apart from the world.

My partner in crime this weekend: Matt Kelley.
The 2nd original Mattie Poo.
Not as good as the first!

We are BFFFN, BFFFAY, BFFS.
translation-
(best friends forever for now,
best friends forever for a year, best friends forever sometimes)

We ventured to the beach on Saturday despite the rain and wind.
It was chilly.
I rolled up my pants and waded in the water after being splashed by waves.
The wind blew so hard that sand was hitting against my skin like sharp daggers.
I could barely walk against the gusts.
But we watched the angry waves for a while anyways.

I was fortunate to see friends from Memphis, Freed, and beyond!

We proudly represented the University of Tennessee amidst all the other SEC powerhouses, even though our spirits were a little off because of the football coaching drama last week.
We proudly cheered the VOLS on during Xgames on Sunday,
but props to Landmark for winning!
If we hadn't let them beat us in Tug-O-War,
they couldn't have taken home the gold :).

I was glad to get home, but sad to leave my safe haven.
At least I have my armor on.

Shoutout to Matt's mom, Sandy.
She was referenced a lot this weekend.
And by referenced, I mean me saying "Your mom."

I don't wanna let you go til you see the light [eddie money]

On New Year's Day of 2010, I was spending 8+ hours outside in the 15-degree weather watching the Hogs win the Liberty Bowl in overtime with my best friend Ames [aka Homes]. After standing outside the gates to the Liberty Bowl for 2 hours before and sitting on cold, steel benches, I couldn't feel my toes, legs, bum, fingers, or face. I was wearing 7 layers up top and 3 down below. It was a rough time, but completely fun and worth every minute. All the small talk we made with people beforehand would consist of some joke about football (especially when I told them I was a student at UT and bled orange) or the half-time act, Eddie Money. Eddie Money is an 80s has-been, semi-one hit wonder, and overall nobody. Eddie Money was half the reason I was there. I absolutely loved, love, and will always love, his hit 'Take Me Home Tonight.' It's 80s through and through and has no significant meaning in my life, however, when he took the field at halftime, I was one of the few singing at the top of my lungs and getting excited. How lucky was I to get to watch college football AND Eddie Money!? Those 90 seconds of his hit song made the lack of feeling in my legs, even 3 hours after going home, well worth it.

So that's how I rung in 2010. College football and a concert by an 80s favorite. So far 2011 has been more chill.

Last night, I had a few options for spending the evening. New friends, old friends, church friends, school friends. I just really wanted to stay home. Sara Jackson, a friend from the CSC, asked what I was doing, and she came over and we watched Monk and the 'Times Square New Year's Eve.' It wasn't an eventful evening, but we did talk about life and the future. That was nice. I also would like to note that I might add 'Spending NYE in NYC in Times Square' to my list of things to do in life. I usually would never want to be amongst a crowd that's so overwhelming. But I think just once in my time on earth, I'd like to experience it. Sara kept pointing out the fact that people probably pee in the street. I thought, I'm rather good at holding my pee, so I think I could make it. Any takers?

After it turned midnight, I told Sara we should go drive over the mountain back into 2010 where CST starts. It would be like 'Back to the Future.' And kinda trippy. We didn't, but I would one day. Just to say I went back in time. Just to pull that out at parties later. Nobody else would probably be impressed, but I think it would make me feel pretty good about myself.

I left Sara to snooze on the couch, and I got in bed as I talked to J. Phil around 12:30am. She was in a different month, day, and year. Our minds were being blown while we talked church politics and life decisions. I liked hearing her voice first thing in my new year.

Somehow, as I lay in the dark, staring at the ceiling, I vocalized concerns and wishes out loud and they took on new life. They seemed stronger, possible, in-reach. Just in that 20 minute conversation, I realized I could make those things happen. I could find that strength. And I could do whatever I wanted in this new year with which God blessed us.

Ames texted at 1am to wish me a happy new year from Arkansas, and I soon fell asleep listening to the pounding rain outside and thinking about the possibilities that 2011 will hold.

Now, sitting here, fixin' to watch the 'Outback Bowl' [thank you ABC for finally showing a bowl game so I can watch], 2011 finally feels real. The rain outside looks different, and my apartment seems fresh, and the potential of big things in a new year seems certain.

I'll be sitting down making resolutions later today. Maybe I'll share some with you.

But for now, it's off to see if Florida can hold off the Nittany Lions. Go SEC! And a Happy New Year!